My Experience With ADHD

I am on a recovery journey from the messes I made in my past because of having ADHD and not knowing it. I just thought I was a screw up. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how intelligent I was, I just couldn't achieve my goals. I couldn't fit into the norm of society.
For years I blamed that on the fact that I grew up in a violent home where I never felt safe nor did I learn the rules of healthy living.

Here's the bad and the good of ADHD for me:
My extreme impulsive behaviour and my sense of risky adventure seeking, have left me with:
- two divorces
- four children by three different fathers.
- wounded children
- about $75,000.00 worth of debt.
- several jobs I either quit because I got bored of, or got fired from
- many speeding tickets
- difficult relationships
- a past of promiscuity
There are probably other things that I can't think of right now.
Forgetfulness is another big one. It's been a hard road to recovering my good credit from forgetting to pay things on time.

On the other hand, my extreme passion for life and my creativity have:
- given me depth, insight and wisdom
- extreme pleasures in small things, no matter what
- an extreme thirst for knowledge
- a very teachable spirit
- the courage to try new things
- the spirit of excellence
- a connection with children, especially those set apart
- the extreme joy of dance and theatre
- an attitude of servitude
- the desire to never give up
- the acceptance of others as they are
I have also learned to be extremely honest with myself. There is no growth or advancement in keeping secrets. It's by bringing things out that we can help ourselves and each other.

In my mind, it was usually chaotic. Just so many things racing through. It was hard to relax long enough to get 6 hours of sleep. I lived in a fantasy world where pain could not touch me. I really did live in a world of unrealistic optimism. I didn't know how to focus my abundance of energy and often, I drained people.

God is good! I never stopped seeking freedom and here I am.
When I was 12 years old, waiting to die, God put it on me that I couldn't die. He had an important plan that couldn't happen without me. I didn't understand. I just knew I was very important to God. I have never doubted Him since. He's been the rock that kept me going. He always loved and accepted me no matter what people did or said to me. His love is merciful and forgiving. He has taught me to be kind to myself. He continues to be gentle with me no matter what. It's because of Him that I have discovered my ADHD and I have the courage to research it and share the journey.
There are no limits to me except the limits I put upon myself.
Today I am choosing my life. I am living healthy. I am seeking to bring peace where there is chaos, joy where there is sorrow, healing where there is brokenness.
I hope you'll join me. I don't have all of the answers and there is no support group in my area. Feel free to send me comments or questions.
God bless,
Diane